Jean
died in hospital on Tuesday aged 56 following a short illness. After years of
being all-clear, in January her cancer came back very aggressively.
Jean was given chemotherapy but to no avail. She is survived by
husband Phil and son Nathan.
Jean
and Phil were married for 35 years. Phil is my oldest friend, we met
when we were both eleven and became good mates. As a teenager I spent
all of the weekend at his house countless times and made friends
with younger brother Terry. We kept in close touch as we moved in
different directions to study and for work.
Phil
and Jean were living in Poole when Gill and I moved to Southampton.
We became very close as couples: spending weekends with each other,
going on walking trips and holidays together. Especially memorable
were our tours of Normandy and Brittany, where we drove around
staying in Logis de France. At lunch and dinner we challenged each
other to find the most interesting dishes on the menu. All four of us
would chose something different, try each others food and then vote
on who had chosen the best dish. Jean was often the winner.
This
all came to a halt when Gill was killed in an accident. I couldn't
bear to go back to our new house, we had only moved in three weeks
previously. So Jean and Phil kindly invited me to stay in their
house. I did this for many weeks before I plucked up the courage to
turn the key in my door and walk in. Even then I would only go to the
new house during the day and then return to Phil and Jean's for the
evening and night. It took me several months before I was able to
return home and stay overnight.
Not
long after, Jean became pregnant with Nathan. I was pleased to be the
first visitor the day after he was born. Jean had told Phil she
wanted a drink of Guinness and we brought several cans with us to the
hospital. Jean eagerly opened the can and a jet of foaming Guinness
flew all over her, the bed and the baby. Yes, Nathan was christened in
the black stuff. Perhaps this might go some way to explaining his
later prowess at rugby.
Jean
and Phil had a very good relationship. They were also unconventional:
Jean was the breadwinner and Phil the house-husband. This was a very
unusual arrangement for the late 1980's but it worked successfully.
Indeed, Nathan has grown up to be a very well-balanced young man who
has already achieved a great deal: professionally and in sport. After
I moved from southern England I would meet them for trips away, or
stay with them for long weekends or sometimes meet them at Gloucester
rugby games (see below).
Jean
was an information systems specialist who worked for banks and big
insurance companies both directly employed and as a freelance. She
was a very strong swimmer and loved to be in the sea, an affection
that had been nurtured from her childhood in Plymouth. Jean was a
person of principle. A committed environmentalist and a long-standing
member of Greenpeace, she lived a green lifestyle: campaigning,
organics only, no flying, etc.
When
I became ill with cancer in 2011, Jean was one of the key friends who
supported and encouraged me during my treatment and recuperation. I
did my best to reciprocate during her illness. We were companions in
the fight against the 'Big C'. Jean endured this great struggle with
good heart and concern for others.
A
small family funeral will take place near Plymouth next Friday. In
keeping with her wishes, Jean will be buried in a wicker casket in
woodland. May she rest in peace.
Jean, Terry, Nathan and Phil in Gloucester in 2008
