Our
house is built on the side of a drumlin. We have a large raised border which
extends across the rear of the house. The original owners filled this haphazardly
with ornamental conifers and other shrubs. Over the intervening twenty
five years these have grown into a veritable jungle that is both dense and tall.
And because it is a raised border some of the trees now tower over the house and
block the light, to the extent that we sometimes have to switch the lights on
during the day.
I
began by tackling the cypresses; there were six of these. Each had multiple
slim branches growing straight up from the same low trunk. The largest cypress was about twelve feet tall and six feet wide. I began to cut out the tallest branches
which were in the middle of the clump. The thinner ones could be cut with a
large lopper, the thicker ones (3 inches or so in diameter) had to be sawed.
This was rough work. I had to clamber through the border, part the outer
branches and saw at an awkward angle with small branches scraping my arms. But
when a dozen or so branches had been removed, the first cypress was thinner and
shorter but still in roughly the same shape. Then I turned to the other five.
The
two largest trees were ornamental spruces. These had been planted by the
previous owners with no thought for how tall and wide they might become or whether
a raised border behind the house was a suitable location. I tried to prune them, but they
were too high (about 15 feet) and too dense for this to work. There was nothing
else for it, they would have to go. I consulted my neighbour, who arrived with
his chainsaw and helped to chop them down. The trunks were about a foot in
diameter and I had to secure one with a rope to make sure it didn’t fall onto
the greenhouse.
After
a long hard day, we had a mountain of felled conifer but much more light for
the house and greenhouse. I had stinging grazes on the inside of my forearms
and a sore back. I also gained breathing problems (needing to use my inhaler
for the first time in months), as one of the other conifers had discharged a
cloud of white pollen in my face while I was trying to prune its neighbour. The
revenge of Mother Nature?
The
next day, T and I dragged all of the conifer branches to the corner of the
garden and tossed them over the fence into the neighbouring field. This was
heavy going and took several hours to do. We also collected all the dead
branches from the lawn that had been brought down from the ash trees at the edge of the field by winter
storms. We piled all of these branches up and I started a fire. There is something
very therapeutic about a good bonfire. Perhaps it is a trace memory from our
lives as hunter-gatherers or the cleansing ritual it represents (burning the
debris of winter)? I wore a mask but still managed to inhale some smoke, so it
was out with the inhaler again. The next job was mowing the lawn for the first
time of the year. It took twice as long as usual.
According
to official figures, around 100,000 people require hospital treatment for
injuries sustained in gardening and DIY each year. Some 10% of these injuries
are serious enough to require admission to hospital. The main culprits are
machinery (especially lawnmowers), digging and falls. After our first week of
lock-down labour, we’ve gained aching joints, sore muscles, multiple grazes and wheezing
lungs. Last night we were so tired that we fell into bed at 9.30pm. Given the
risks, we seem to have got off lightly so far. Although, as the lock-down is
set to continue for months rather than weeks, only time will tell.